Bad Little Vampire
by Symmetry -Death the Kid
Summary: Takes place 10 years after the original Ooo canon. Will take a couple chapters to fully make sense. Rated T for violence and language, may go to up to M for sexual details in future chapters. R&R, please! Finn x Marceline.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I promise I'll finish this one. Takes place 10 years after the series debut.**

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_Land of Ooo Bar and Casino._ _10__:39 PM OST (Ooo Standard Time). _

_829 A.A, Month 4, Day 19._

_Subjects in question: Cinnamon Bun, Princess Bubblegum, Finn the Human._

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Princess Bubblegum dropped down her mug of beer. "Oh, man. I'm so drunk right now. Another one over here, Peppermint Butler!"

"Yes, your heinous." Peppermint Butler muttered from behind a desk, pouring another beer.

Princess Bubblegum lit a cigarette. "Cinnamon Bun, I think you're gonna have to carry me home tonight, because I can't even feel my face right now."

"Princess!" Cinnamon Bun yelled. "Are you aware of how bad this looks for your image? Smoking and drinking are NOT princess-like activities!"

"I don't give a damn." Princess Bubblegum slurred, as Peppermint Butler took her beer over to her table. "They're probably gonna kick my ass out first chance they get when the next election comes next month."

"And you want that?" Cinnamon Bun asked.

"You're right I do. I'm so sick of being royalty, held up to all these pretty little standards. All the other Ooo citizens can smoke and drink without getting judged."

"You're the only one here fit to be a princess!" Cinnamon Bun yelled, pounding the table.

Princess Bubblegum giggled and took a drag on her cigarette. "Not for much longer."

All of a sudden, the door bursted open. A young man, appearing to be about 18, entered, with a firm look on his face. "Sup, bitches?"

"Oh, hey, Finn." Princess Bubblegum said. "Haven't seen you here in a while."

"You know you're banned from here." Peppermint Butler said firmly.

"Oh, yeah." Finn said, with a knife in his pocket. "And you know I can do _this!"_

Finn jumped behind the counter and held a knife up to Peppermint Butler. "Now, I want you to get a good old margarita on the rocks. On the house."

"You're scum." Peppermint Butler choked out, as Finn held the knife closer.

"What was that?"

"I said you're _scum!"_

"DON'T PISS ME OFF!" Finn yelled, jabbing the knife into Peppermint Butler. Blood began pouring out of him as he screamed.

"Holy crap." Princess Bubblegum slurred. "You're really good with a knife, Finn."

Finn ignored her and continued jabbing the knife into Peppermint Butler, until a gagging sound was heard from behind the counter, and there was sudden silence.

"You guys know how to brew alcohol?" Finn asked. "I decided I'm gonna be the new owner, and you guys could be some quality employees."

"You are scum!" Cinnamon Bun yelled. "I refuse to work for you!"

"Geez, Cinnamon Bun, lighten up a little." Princess Bubblegum slurred as she pulled another cigarette out. "This vampire guy's fun."

Finn bared his fangs. "Damn right, princess."

_BANG!_

The bar door opened, to reveal an angry Marceline. "FINN!"

"Ah! Marceline!" Finn yelped.

"I can't believe you." Marceline yelled, slapping him across the face. "Just what the _fuck _do you think you're doing here?"

"Oh, thank goodness you're here, Marceline!" Cinnamon Bun exclaimed. "Your husband Finn...just murdered a man!"

Marceline grabbed Finn's throat. "You son of a bitch!" Marceline yelled. "Why is it every time I turn my back you're getting into mischief?! You're a grown adult, you should be able to take care of yourself without me always watching you!"

"I-I'm sorry." Finn choked out.

"Oh, yeah? Are you? I don't think so. We're going home. And when we get home, you can kiss your ass goodbye."

"Bye bye, Finn." Princess Bubblegum said, giggled. "Hey, Peppermint Butler, can you get me another beer?"

Cinnamon Bun stood up angrily. "Princess, he's _DEAD! _He's not pining, he's passed on. This butler is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-butler!"

"I don't get what you're saying." Princess Bubblegum slurred.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: That was the prologue to our main story. Yeah...the next chapter is also a prologue, explaining the story a bit more. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense right now. R&R for this first chapter, please!**


End file.
